I lived a life of partying with intermittent trips to the
hospital for kidney infections. I moved out again with my best friend, Marci,
while attending college. I met a young
man who seemed to actually really care for me and treated me like a queen. I began to realize that being treated like a
queen equaled love to me. He would
shower me with his love and I ate it up.
He was in a band and had his pilot’s license so we had tons of fun going
to bars so he could play in his band and then going on airplane rides to half Moon
Bay for dinner. I was happy and finally
felt the love I craved. This young man
was truly a sweet, genuine person who really did love me. But after 2 years of dating, we began to talk
about marriage. His family was of a
different religion and I began to realize that if I married this man, I needed
to understand what he believed. So I
went to his church and began to notice differences in what I had been taught in
Young Life. I went to the Christian book
store and bought a book about his religion and what he believed. Even with my limited knowledge, I realized
that I couldn’t live with some of his beliefs.
This drew me more and more to God.
My roommate and I decided to go back to South Hills Church, where we
attended Young Life meetings, to try out their single’s group. We went to a small group that met on
Wednesday nights. The first person I met
as I walked into the door was a man who had something I had never seen before…..GOD! I don’t know how I knew, but his eyes lit up
when he talked and I just knew this man knew God. Now, you have to imagine this scene. Here I am, miss party girl, with big hair
(this was the late 80’s) and a tight skirt with an attitude. And here was this engineer with a dark blue
cardigan sweater with short black hair and preppy shoes. He was SO not my type. But there was something about him that drew
me. We really liked the bible study and
began attending every week. By this time
I knew that I HAD to convert my boyfriend to Christianity. I was so conflicted because here I found the
man of my dreams that had long hair, was in a band and treated me like a
queen. He just HAD to accept Jesus!!!!
So what is a young woman to do? I manipulated him to come to the bible study
with me. He came once and had no desire
to convert. My world began to unravel. If I didn’t stay with my boyfriend, I may
never be loved by another man. Lest you
have forgotten, dear reader, that I am ugly, shame filled and completely
unworthy. But yet I knew that I wanted
God back in my life.
One day, while I was reading the Bible, a voice called out
to me. It was not audible, but it was so
clear in my heart that it could have been.
The voice said “It’s me or him, make your choice.” I knew right away that this was God
speaking. And in my heart I knew I had
to make a choice. I couldn’t have my
boyfriend and God too. He was forcing me to make a choice out of His great love
for me. I chose God. I broke up with my
boyfriend. It took a while because we
kept seeing each other periodically because neither of us could fully let go.
At the same time, I was still attending bible study and talking to this new guy
that had God in his eyes. I found out his name was Dave Reginato and he was an
engineer. I also found out that he was
not dating anyone because he wanted to get right with God and focus only on
him. So we became friends. We did a lot of activities together with the
singles group at church. Almost every
weekend we went to concerts, went on bike rides or hung out at a restaurant. I was beginning to feel free. And God was
growing my faith. The seed that was
planted through Young life was beginning to take root and grow.
After a few months of being “friends”, Dave asked me out to
a Lockheed Christmas dinner. OK….let me
set the scene for you. A huge room full
of old men…..old, engineer men! Enter
Dave and Kathi. Dave in his conservative
suit and Kathi in a sexy bright red dress with spiked heels and big, blond
hair! Every head turned when we walked
in to that room. It was a bit
uncomfortable and on top of it all, the waiter was hitting on me all night. Every
time I got out of my seat, the waiter would slip me a note. I was so flustered between the old men
staring at me and the waiter hitting on me.
It was a complete disaster. But
after the dinner, Dave took me to a coffee house and we talked for hours. I melted in his presence. He was so confident and strong and good
looking. He had a true love for God and
wanted to follow Him. I had never met a
man like him. He was dreamy! OK….I’m done now.
We dated for a year and half and we were both growing in the
Lord. I was getting counseling for my
past and Dave was leading in many ways at church and being mentored. I began to realize that my view of love was
skewed. When Dave didn’t shower me with
gift, I felt like he didn’t love me. He
began to teach me what true love is.
That it’s a commitment and a choice.
That it was laying down your life for each other and working as a
team. This took some time to learn about
love. I wanted the gifts and attention. But was realizing what I really needed was the
unconditional love of God. I was for the
first time really falling in love. Not
just to get treated like a queen, but to give of myself for another person who
I could trust and deeply commit my life to.
Then, we had the talk! Let me
digress for a moment. I love my husband dearly, so please do not judge him for
what I am about to tell you. He was only trying to warn me. OK. So
he took me to Round Table pizza and gave me this talk…..”I just want to let you
know that if we get married we will not have a lot of money. I will never
pursue money and if we get married, you have to be Ok with that.” And in my dreamy state I said… “OK”. Now that I look back, he could have said “let’s
live in a hut” and I would have agreed.
During this time of dating, I had to have my left kidney
removed. It was causing high blood
pressure and I was getting frequent infections.
So I had yet another major surgery.
They made an 8 inch incision and removed my kidney. The pain was horrible. But I had Dave to comfort and encourage me. Poor guy…he had no idea what he would be in
for in the future concerning my health.
I really should have given HIM a talk….’My dearest David”, I would say, “I
just want you to know that if you marry me you will have to live with having
two children premature due to my health, more surgeries and infections and
medication and you will someday have to give me injections of antibiotics and
tend to my IV with the meds in my fanny pack and…..” I’m glad I didn’t know what was ahead, he
might not have married me.
One day, my roommate and her fiancé were going to look for
rings for their wedding. Dave asked me if I wanted to go with them. He didn’t say, “let’s look at rings” or “maybe
we can try some rings on just to see how they look”. He said nothing (I’m not judging, but….
typical engineer)! So we went with our
friends to look at rings. I was so nervous.
What was he thinking? Why didn’t
he tell me what he was thinking? We went
looking and periodically he would say, “do you like that one?” Or, “let’s try that one on.” It was so awkward. At the end of the day, HE BOUGHT A RING! Still, all the way home, not a word! I know what you are thinking…..why the heck
are you with this guy? You will never have money and his social skills are
retarded. But wait, it gets better! So he takes the ring home and hides it. And doesn’t mention it again. So here I am waiting. Is he going to ask me to marry him? If so, when?
It was torture!
Finally a couple months later, we are driving up to Mt.
Shasta to visit his parents and he stops the car. We get out of the car and he leads me to a
vista point on a mountain near his parent’s house. He takes out the ring and proposes to me with
beautiful trees surrounding us. I was
elated! We went to his parent’s house
and told them the news. I came to find
out later that he went to ask my parent’s permission before he proposed to me. Ok…is he redeeming himself yet? I told you it would get better. We had my dream wedding, thanks to my
wonderful parents. There was just one
problem. During this time of dating and
engagement, I was tormented with demonic oppression. I will not share with you the details, but I
was fearful almost all the time and could not sleep some nights. Counseling was helping, but the enemy again
became more real to me than God. During
my wedding, while we were saying our vows, I felt the oppression again and
almost fainted. Why was I being
tormented again? Why didn’t the enemy just leave me alone? I was so happy with my new husband, but
confused about where God was in my life.
