You are not my mom

Oh the words that I hate to hear and yet almost every foster/adopted child has spoken (or yelled) these words and they have stabbed like a dagger, straight through my heart. It happened again a few days ago. One of my kids was adopted at age 3 and before he came to be our child, he experienced so much domestic violence and some of it toward him. He came to us filled with fear and shame. He has healed much in the last 6 years and has grown into an amazing, fun, creative boy. But he still misses his birth mom. For those of you who are not familiar with adopted kids, most of them think about their birth moms every single day. So when I went into his room to talk to him about lying to me and to ask him to pray with me, he turned his back on me and said “you are not my mom”. AS many times as I have heard those words, they never cease to torment me. If I am not his mom, who is? Aren’t I the one who tucks him in at night and kisses him and plays with him? Am I not the one who feeds him healthy meals and drives him to soccer and looks at his creative inventions? The truth is that I AM his mom, but I will never take the place of his birth mom. That bond will never be broken. It will never be totally healed. We have formed a bond that I hope will last a lifetime, but it will never be enough. It reminds me of how God adopts us into His family. We want a new life, but we are bonded to this world. We want to be loved by a Father, but our birth father (the enemy) calls us to be satisfied with being an orphan. God, like a loving and faithful Father, waits for us to bond with Him. We want to come running into His arms, but we hesitate. Even if we came from drug addiction or domestic violence, it is still more familiar than the loving arms of God. As my heart ached from the sound of his words, I quietly left his room. About 15 min later he called me to come back. He said he was ready to pray. So we prayed the prayer of forgiveness and I gave him a big hug. Bonded. A little more today than yesterday. Are you living as an orphan? If you are a follower of Christ, you need not be. Claim your identity as a child of God and embrace the Father’s love for you. Yes, at times it is foreign and uncomfortable. But as you bond with Him you will find life! As much as I long for my son to love and bond with me, I desire even more for him to know my Father, who will kiss him and tuck him snuggly in his bed. And that maybe for the first time in his little life, he can feel wholly and forever loved. He could find rest for his soul. He could find home