The guilt trip. Many
of us pack our bags, but how many of us ever come back from the trip? I have lots to be guilty about….the choice to
not love the unlovable, the choice to not see the broken from my own womb, the
choice to bring words of death instead of life.
I could have, should have seen instead of being blinded by fear. These were all choices packed tightly in my
bag of guilt. I have carried this heavy
load for years. Occasionally taking out the garments of shame, looking at them
one by one; hanging them up to the light of my window so that I could see every
last detail. Then when I have glared at
each and every piece, I fold them up carefully and tuck them back in my
bag. And I wonder. Why do I do this? What causes me to recount the memories of
failure? To be burdened by the weight of
my sin?
I carry my bag all the time.
It is so used to being carried that I cannot even feel the weight
anymore. Oh, but the heaviness is
there. It is waiting to shame me and
keep me tied to the lie. And what is the
lie? I stumbled upon it recently. It is in Galatians 3-5. It says, “All who rely on observing the law
are under a curse.” A curse? So when I choose to carry my guilt I am under
the law, right? I am under a curse. Galatians goes on to say, “Christ redeemed us
from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us.” OK. Here is the good part. So, little old me is carrying my bag of guilt
living under a curse. But Jesus redeemed
me from the curse by becoming a curse for me?
How cool is that? So I am
redeemed. When I carry the bag, I am
choosing the curse. When I’m unpacking
the bag, I am telling God….you are not enough.
Your becoming a curse is not enough for me. I need to live under the curse because that
is what I deserve. Am I becoming God
when I do this? Am I accepting the curse
over accepting Jesus? Galatians goes on
further, “But now that you know God- or rather are known by God- how is it that
you are turning back to those miserable and weak principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over
again?” Uh, NO! Enslaved? That is pretty powerful. So let me get this straight….I have been
redeemed from the curse, can live in freedom, am an heir of Christ…His daughter
and why am I still carrying this bag of curses?
Well, I put a stop to that right away. I took my bag, opened it and named every
piece before God. I told him about not
seeing, not loving, the pain I have caused, the failure, the fears. I took each piece and held it into the
Light. And the Light burned these words
into each piece….”IT IS FINISHED.” I don’t
know about you, but I am done carrying burdens that have already been paid
for. I am no longer wanting to be God,
punishing myself until I’m sick to my stomach.
Galatians 5 says, “It is for freedom that Christ set you free. Stand
firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
I choose freedom.
I
tossed the bag.
There was a price paid
for my guilt.
But I was never intended to
pay it.
IT IS FINISHED.
What about you? Are you carrying a curse? If so, you are
missing out on grace.
And it is AMAZING!