The Guilt Trip

The guilt trip.  Many of us pack our bags, but how many of us ever come back from the trip?  I have lots to be guilty about….the choice to not love the unlovable, the choice to not see the broken from my own womb, the choice to bring words of death instead of life.  I could have, should have seen instead of being blinded by fear.  These were all choices packed tightly in my bag of guilt.  I have carried this heavy load for years. Occasionally taking out the garments of shame, looking at them one by one; hanging them up to the light of my window so that I could see every last detail.  Then when I have glared at each and every piece, I fold them up carefully and tuck them back in my bag.  And I wonder.   Why do I do this?  What causes me to recount the memories of failure?  To be burdened by the weight of my sin?

I carry my bag all the time.  It is so used to being carried that I cannot even feel the weight anymore.  Oh, but the heaviness is there.  It is waiting to shame me and keep me tied to the lie.  And what is the lie?  I stumbled upon it recently.  It is in Galatians 3-5.  It says, “All who rely on observing the law are under a curse.”  A curse?  So when I choose to carry my guilt I am under the law, right?  I am under a curse.  Galatians goes on to say, “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us.”  OK. Here is the good part.  So, little old me is carrying my bag of guilt living under a curse.  But Jesus redeemed me from the curse by becoming a curse for me?  How cool is that?  So I am redeemed.  When I carry the bag, I am choosing the curse.  When I’m unpacking the bag, I am telling God….you are not enough.  Your becoming a curse is not enough for me.  I need to live under the curse because that is what I deserve.  Am I becoming God when I do this?  Am I accepting the curse over accepting Jesus?  Galatians goes on further, “But now that you know God- or rather are known by God- how is it that you are turning back to those miserable and weak principles?  Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?”  Uh, NO!  Enslaved? That is pretty powerful.  So let me get this straight….I have been redeemed from the curse, can live in freedom, am an heir of Christ…His daughter and why am I still carrying this bag of curses? 

Well, I put a stop to that right away.  I took my bag, opened it and named every piece before God.  I told him about not seeing, not loving, the pain I have caused, the failure, the fears.  I took each piece and held it into the Light.  And the Light burned these words into each piece….”IT IS FINISHED.”  I don’t know about you, but I am done carrying burdens that have already been paid for.  I am no longer wanting to be God, punishing myself until I’m sick to my stomach.  Galatians 5 says, “It is for freedom that Christ set you free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” 

I choose freedom.  

I tossed the bag.  

There was a price paid for my guilt.  

But I was never intended to pay it.  

IT IS FINISHED.

What about you? Are you carrying a curse? If so, you are missing out on grace.

And it is AMAZING!