My Story Part 9

When we were asked to take in a 16yo foster daughter and her 2yo son, we were skeptical.   My son was 3yo and my daughter a baby.  What did I know about teenage moms?  We decided to have her over to check her out.  We instantly liked her and her son.  But could we handle it?  We took her on a tour of our home and ended up in the back yard.  My husband had a vegetable garden in the yard and had carefully placed the envelopes of each vegetable on a stick and stuck them in the ground ( I know…stay with me).  These envelopes were tattered and torn from the rain and wind.  I looked at one while giving our tour and the envelope looked like Elvis (I told you…stay with me!!).  A minute later, this young woman, Sarah, said, “Hey, that looks like Elvis.” And she was pointing to the garden envelope.  I knew right then and there that God was calling us to take these kids into our home.  I know it sounds crazy! In fact, I’m laughing out loud right now as I write.  But we were young in our faith and needed a sign.  Who knew God could use Elvis to confirm a prayer?

Sarah was a beautiful, scared, lost 16yo with a 2 yo son.  But we instantly bonded with her.  We had some great times together going to hockey games, out to dinner, movies etc.  It was tricky having her 2yo living with us because I took care of him during the day and she would take over after she got home from school.  When she was mad at me, she would tell her son to not talk to me.  But when she was happy with me, we all got a long great.  When she was about 17yo, she started freaking out.  I think she was scared.  She began to act out against me.  She would smear my food all over my kitchen and would take my car and we couldn’t control her.  The foster agency was a huge help and kept asking us if we wanted her removed.  But I knew God called us to keep them.  God would have to make it clear if she should go.  This trauma went on for months.  And I wasn’t innocent in this either.  I would yell at her and I remember throwing my keys at her.  I was angry and scared and wanted to help her, but couldn’t.  I lost weight  and would spend time at night in my room.  I like to say that Sarah helped me to like beer.  After I put my kids to bed at night, I would get some chips, salsa and beer and lock myself in my room.  I was miserable, but not going to give up.  She began having boyfriends and lying all the time.  We forgave her.  We made contracts.  We set boundaries.  None of it worked and we realized that she had to leave. 

It was devastating.  She was furious that we were “kicking her out with a baby.”  And I felt horrible. I felt like we failed.  I didn’t think we would ever see them again.  But she would keep in touch every now and then.  She ended up in transitional housing and then moved in with her dad.  She began making good choices and got a great job.  We saw her now and then.  She still struggled because she wanted a mom.  She wanted me to be a mom to her.  How could I fill a hole that big?  How could I help her unravel the pain, trauma and abuse she suffered?  There was no end to the depths of her pain.  So I loved her the best I could.  But it wasn’t enough.  I disappointed her many times.  She didn’t just need love.  She needed a pouring out of healing that only God could give.

And you know what? He did!!!!!  I have tears in my eyes as I write this.  Sarah became an amazing, beautiful, loving mother.  God gave her money to put a down payment on a condo.  He gave her a job at a private Christian school where her son could attend.  He gave her a church to call her family.  And the best part for me is that I get to still call her family.  I get to still love her.  God redeemed the pain.  If you met her today all you would see is beauty.  Beauty out of ashes.  Beauty despite what the enemy had planned.  Not just beautiful, but the deep kind of beauty that only comes from suffering and pain and wisdom and healing.  The kind of beauty that will never fade or disappear.

Today, Sarah is married to an amazing Christian man with two more kids.  Her son that lived with us is grown.  She is following the Lord wherever He leads.  She is compassionate, real and seeks God daily. She home schools and serves in her community.  She is the definition of beauty in every way. She is a gift.

So because of Elvis (and God), I got to witness a miracle.

I got to receive the gift. 

I got to be a gift.

I love you Sarah.